It's been a rough couple of months for Harry and me; well, for me anyway. Harry is so stead-eddy about life that nothing phases him. But I'm not so lucky. I wear my heart on my sleeve and feel things waaay to deeply...much to my dismay. I'm trying hard to change that, but my inner self keeps saying, Ya, good luck with that one Di.
I won't belabor details, but on the first of July this past year, Harry resigned from the company he spent the past 30+ years of his life helping to build. He disagreed with the governance philosophy of the new board of directors. As a founding member and major shareholder, he asked them to change some things and clean house; but they refused. So he resigned.
Since then, several members of the board, but not all, have made it their mission to try and destroy Harry. What they don't understand is they can't destroy Harry because well, he is, after all, Superman. But in the process of trying to destroy him, they will likely destroy a wonderful company that Harry and so many other good, decent, hard working people helped to build. And that is what I'm grieving--the loss of a small, but great company that did good work and provided a good living for many people in addition to being a really fun place to work. And I'm having a difficult time comprehending how some people can be so mean and so indifferent to the consequences of their actions and how those actions adversely affect many good people. I'm trying to understand how small vendettas and personal agendas trump doing the right thing. But somehow I just don't get it. This long, arduous process has taken its toll on me. I'm angry about how they are treating not just my husband, but others, and also so sad for the loss of this once great company.
And I miss my kids. And my daughters-in-law. And my grandkids. And my friends. Harry has been traveling a lot lately. And that means I spend many hours alone. I'm not a clinging vine. I'm OK by myself. I really am. Much of the time I welcome it. (Hence my recent canning craze) But these past couple of weeks have been a real challenge for me. I have been feeling way out of the loop of my kids and grandkids lives. My sons do a good job of staying in touch with me, but it's not the same as being part of their daily lives. That's my reality and it's OK. But there are periods I go through in my life when I'm not OK with that but I know there's nothing I can do about. It's no one's fault and I'm not blaming anyone for any thing. Accepting that which I cannot change is one of my life's greatest challenges.
I'm trying not to sound whiney. I really am. I have a wonderful life and I'm grateful for all the good people in it. I spend a lot of good, fun time with Harry's wonderful family here in Michigan. They make me feel like one of them and I love them all very much. And I'm very fortunate in that I can get on a plane anytime I want to go visit my kids and grandkids, within reason of course. And thank God for Skype :)
So in a nutshell, I simply needed to get these thoughts and feelings OUT of my head and on paper. Somehow that always helps me. It also puts things in perspective. And for the people who are attempting to bring Harry down, I am reminded of what I believe is Universal Law #1:
As You Sow, So Shall You Reap.